Seeing the world through my eyes would make most people either dizzy or feel like they were going to throw up.
Like they just stepped off a roller coaster at an amusement park or were living in a perennial state of hangover.
I see everything in double. And there are times when I also see a ghost image hovering over the primary image. I've tried patches and prisms to try to correct it. In fact, the goal of every ophthalmologist or optician I see is to merge these two images, or at least line them up on the same visual plane.
Nothing works.
It's hard for me to imagine what it would be like to see straight. Would I be me if I didn't have the character-building "pirate" episode in the popsicle line at Maplewood pool when I was five years old? (See part one in a series of three: "Seeing With Crossed Eyes: My World in Double Vision")
Or, to strengthen my eye muscles when I was seven, I forwent after-school sports for something even more challenging: after-school eye training. Wow. What an athlete! (See part 2: "Being the Weirdo Kid With Glasses (and an Eye Patch)")
And, what would my life be like without Dr. Bass, the strabismus specialist on the Upper East Side? With surgery, he tried to straighten my turned-in right eye. (See part 3: "Seeing Double: Am I Holding Up One Finger or Two?")
When I had my stroke, my optic nerve went completely haywire. I saw double, but now, floating clouds obscured my vision. And to make matters worse, everything was distorted. People's faces looked elongated. When I spoke to someone, it was as if they had stepped out of a cartoon -- their jaws stretched down to their chest.
Over the years, my brain has adjusted to this topsy-turvy world. I still see in spectacular double vision with hovering ghost images. But at least I can see! And, either way, it gives me a unique perspective on life, which is glorious.
Photo: Massimiliano Sarno / Unsplash