July 13, 2019

My New York Times Commentary on Strokes

In Jane Brody's column, "Reversing the Damage of a Stroke",  she talks about how one patient's recovery takes persistence, determination, and courage to help him weather the setbacks.

Following is my commentary:

July 2, 2019

Dinner Party Delight: Car Accidents & Tsunamis

At a dinner party the other night, there were three of us discussing life in general. The convo soon took a turn for the macabre when my brother stated that he had a bad flight to Chicago recently. “It didn’t help that I was looking at air flight mishaps on YouTube the night before.”

We agreed, it did not. From airplane disasters, we (un)naturally went to the topic of car accidents and deaths on this small New England island in which we were dining. It triggered a recollection from Person 2, on my left. “Did you hear about the car accident where the daughter fell off the sidewalk at the very moment a huge truck was behind her? She went down, and the truck ran over her head. It sounded like a watermelon squooshing. Plus, her mother was behind her watching it all happen.”

“Speaking of holding things down,” said Person 3, on my right. “We were on a boat delivery to Bermuda. It was a 50-foot sail. We left Menemsha on a blustery December 4 and made our first stop at Noman’s Land. Fat Tony was the chef and decided to make spaghetti. But he boiled the spaghetti in seawater. Fat Tony thought he was ‘conditioning’ us for the trip. I got so sick. Couldn’t keep anything down for days.”

“Which brings us to tsunamis and tidal waves,” I said, trying to change the subject to the YouTube rabbit hole I often find myself in. “I go from watching stupid people stand in rogue waves (CLICK HERE) to tsunamis (CLICK HERE). It fascinates me. Terrifies me. Gets my blood going. I literally can not stop watching them.”

After everyone at the table was equally terrified, horrified, or grossed out, we were anxious to flip the page and bring on the next course.

Dessert, anyone?

June 18, 2019

Leopard Scene at Airport

I was at Chicago O'Hare Airport when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this Babe in Leopard. I loved the way she carried herself. I loved her baby-pink glasses, her hot-pink nail polish on pointy nails, and the ankle-high white sneakers that, when I squinted, looked like Go-Go Boots. She was proud to be a standout from the masses at the airport early that Sunday morning.

Girl, you've got it goin' on! I asked if I could take her picture and, of course, she delighted in striking a pose.

Blessed be the unmeek, for they shall inherit the jungle.

June 8, 2019

Clean Up, Aisle 5

Just spotted a robot in aisle 5. WTF?
Another reason not to use self-checkout. 
It takes jobs away from the unskilled and poorly educated person 
who is trying to make a living. 


May 30, 2019

B-B-B-Benni and the Jetssss

To celebrate the release of "Rocket Man" in cinemas, NPR's "Fresh Air" replayed Terry Gross's interview with Elton John. It reminded me of a past post on "Bonni Brodnick Blog" which features E.J. and mondegreens. (See "A Mondegreen: 'You Make Me Feel Like a Manchurian Woman," 2/23/13.)

Do you know what a mondegreen is?

noun: A word or phrase resulting from mishearing a word or phrase, especially in song lyrics.

When I was growing up, along with thinking Aretha Franklin's "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman" was "You Make Me Feel Like a Manchurian Woman," I was also certain "The Girl from Ipanema" was "The Girl with Emphysema."

My other favorite mondegreen is Elton John's "Benni and the Jets." (Click here.) 
Kids can hear the darndest things. Turn up the volume. Feel free to sing along:

Hey Q
Chain the lous together
The spy is hitting zombies
That are known to chafe in leather, 
We'll kill a fatty cop tonight 
So stick around
You've got a hairy leg
Trick music, malt balls of sound,
Oh Kerry and Romney,
Have you seen them yet?
Oooh, cuz they're so spaced out,
B-B-B-Benni and the Jetssss,
Oh the sweet and the wonderful,
Oh man, she's a rent-a-cane,
She's got electric boobs,
My ma has two,
You know I read it in a magazine, oh, oh,
B-B-B-Benni and the Jetssss.
Hey Keys,
Why don't you plan it to the faceless,
Maybe they're blind, but then again they're faceless,
Reach out to take ourselves home alone,
Well, we found a pair of sarongs
In the street, but we couldn't be wrong,

Oh Kerry and Romney,

Have you seen them yet?
Oh, but they're so spaced out, 
B-B-B-Benni and the Jets.
Oh, but the wheels are so wonderful, 
Oh man, she's a rent-a-cane, 
She's got electric boobs,
My ma has two,
You know I read it in a magazine, oh, oh,
B-B-B-Benni and the Jetssss ...
Benni, Benni, yeah, yeahhh, 
Benni, Benni, Benni, oh Benni and the Jets,
Benni, Benni, Benni, Benni, Benni, Benni, Benni, Benni, yeah, yeahh.

Incidentally, I thought Elton John wrote this song for me. (Bonni.)

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