Bacon Soap + Pickle Toothpaste

Too splooshed to shop for serious stuff this holiday season? Go for the jugular and aim for the humor vein. Who couldn't use pickle toothpaste? Does one ever have enough whoopee cushions? How about that packet of pink lady mustaches (a style for every day of the week). You can always dial it up with some bacon soap. Nun Gum, anyone? How about the homemade pizza ice cream kit? Or the new lip chapper product that chaps your lips in minutes so that you look like you just skied in from Telluride. (There's also Nose Burn cream, if you want to couple the cracked lip look.)

I am on a personal quest to bring back the dickie. NOT the mock-turtle collar, but the full-fledged fashion statement of the dickie. (Please act surprised when you open my gift.)

Message of this missive? Don't forget to have fun this holiday season. Try not to stress from the shopping and baking and cooking and family stuff. Take a break. Or two. If that pickle toothpaste is beckoning, forget giving it away as a gift. (You know when you picked it up that it had your name written all over it anyway.) Go ahead and brush your teeth. Enjoy the dental sensation of this new epicurean-flavored toothpaste. And as you brush, take a look in the mirror, smile and say, "This is ME time." Take a deep breath (spit first) and feel the mirth in your mouth.

Live a little. Have some fun. Laugh a lot.