September 29, 2016

"My Alarming Big, Heavy Pocketbook" (True Story)

                                                                                                                                                              PHOTO: LUCIA GIACANI


This is a true story.

The other day I got into my car and threw my big pocketbook on the empty passenger seat beside me. When I went into gear ...


Read my new post on MEDIUM: "My Alarming Big, Heavy Pocketbook."


It's just to frikkin' heavy.


Click here.



September 24, 2016

Jo's Rabbitude on "Medium Digest"

Artist paints with a rare sense of rabbitude.

Read about her canvas-asional wit + magic.

Grab a carrot, take a seat, and click here --->






  


#artsy.net, #JoHay, #Rabbits

September 22, 2016

HUFFINGTON POST: "When You Die, Don't Leave Loved Ones in the Dark"


It was an uneventful Thursday until my best friend called ...

Here's my new Huffington Post,  "When You Die, Don't Leave Loved Ones in the Dark."

Read it and weep. Then laugh.

Then do your homework.



September 20, 2016

Eavesdropping at the Hair Salon



         
     It was an ordinary Saturday at the hair salon. The sound of scissors snipping and the sent of hair spray filled the room that looked out onto Main Street. With protective baggies on the temples of my eyeglasses, I settled in to read the latest issue of Vanity Fair. Until the woman next to me started yakking about vaginas and vulvas.
     
     Stay tuned ...



September 8, 2016

Don't Hold Your Garden Bounty in My Face

Don't hold the bounty of your vegetable and flower garden up to my face on Instagram and Facebook. This year, I had the worst garden ever.
Above are my (sad) zinnias. Even with Deer-Be-Gone and No-Deer-Tonight, this usually flower-ful variety was nipped at all summer. I didn't get one damn bloom.

Here is but one of my withering hydrangeas. Last summer, they were bloomy. This summer, not so much. 
And last of all, I don't even know what this is. A mixed-breed Coreopsis Threadleaf and Long Island Daisies? Even the mulch has run away from their hideousness. To top it off, early-autumn leaves are beginning to fall on top of them. Poor things.

But I swear, I CAN garden!!  Here are shots from better, more fruitful seasons:

There's always next summer ...

Click here to end on a good note.


September 6, 2016

Huffington Post: They're BAAAaaaaaaaAAAck to School Nighmares

School bells are ringing, ringing, RINGING in my head. I'm late! I can't find my locker! Why am I wearing only one shoe? Where are my glasses? 

This is the nightmare that clinches my reveries every September. 

Click here for my Huffington Post, "Back to School Nightmares." 

Spit out the gum. Put both feet on the floor. Stop talking to your neighbor and complaining about the syllabus. 

Read on, fellow former and current students.  (And don't try to highlight sections on your screen with a yellow marker. It doesn't always erase. We'll learn more about that in science class next week.)



August 15, 2016

HUFFINGTON POST: "Mother/Daughter Car Trip Turns Into Highway a Twilight Zone"



Put down your cell phone and keep driving. Now, make pretend you're turning on the radio as you CLICK HERE for my new Huffington Post, "Mother/Daughter Car Trip Turns Into a Highway Twilight Zone."






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