November 30, 2017
My Stroke: Do I Want to Have a BAD Day or a GOOD Day
Every morning, before gearing up on news, weather, email, and Instagram, I go into the guest room and take a seat on my meditation bench. I set the timer for 20 minutes, close my eyes, and the mind chatter begins. I think about how lucky I am to be here; what would have happened if my mother wasn't in the car when I had my stroke; what about those two Good Samaritans who stopped to see what was wrong? My mind is stuck on replay of every detail and then I slip into my mantra (which I actually lost post-stroke! It just didn't sound right. [I had the syllables inverted.] My yoga instructor gave me back my mantra.)
After each meditation session, I end with this one thought: I am in control of whether I have a bad day or a good day. I can go left or right.
The left lane is feeling sorry for myself; my right side is weaker, my right-hand shakes if I have it in a certain position, it's hard for me to find words when I talk sometimes, I have double-vision, my body is ache-y, why did I have a stroke ... and on and on. But I tell myself the left lane is not an option. I do not want to start the day with negativity.
Instead, I take the right lane. I am determined to have a great day. Not a good one, but a great one. I may not even believe it, but by saying it, I'm opening myself up to positive thinking and good juju. I say to my husband, "Today is going to be a great day." He smiles and kisses me goodbye.
So today, you can go left ... or right. You can have the mindset to sit in the proverbial boogy room and wallow in negativity. Or you can dance, sing, and jump in the sunny room and glorify that you have another day. As for myself, even though I might not really feel it (see paragraph 3), I am determined to have a great day.
How about you?