January 17, 2015

What a Flu-sy

While diving for ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet, I came across a bag of face masks that were handed out at my son's fraternity at Cornell during the Swine flu outbreak in 2009. (See above.) 

These were designed to wear on the face? They look like sanitary napkins. Is it me in a feverish state or what?  (A friend asked why I had been saving them. Perhaps for an art project? Interesting idea: a rendering that compares the contraceptive effects of wearing a face mask and a sanitary napkin. It's like the versatility of a dickie that can also be worn over the head like a hajib.

Perhaps the face masks were more effective for Swine flu than this year's flu shot, which was mis-targeted and only 23% effective. (I am one of the "lucky" 77%.)

This morning I woke up and was startled to find a small box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal on my bed stand. 
I hate that cereal (too sweet) and wondered:

1. Why is it on my bed stand?
2. How is it that the box is empty? 
3. Why are there so many crumbs in our bed?? 

In my fever last night, my husband recalled that I went downstairs, brought up the cereal and scarfed it down. (Better than barfing it up.) He thought I was acting strangely. (Especially when I mentioned a friend [who is definitely post meno-pause] and commented, "I think they found a way for so-and-so to get pregnant." 

It was then that my beloved asked me if I knew the date and who was the president of the U.S.

The only thing I can remember is watching "Seinfeld" bloopers on my iPad. I think I fell asleep, though, during "The Nairobi Trio" performance on an Ernie Kovacs re-run.

Anyhoo, I am now on day 5 of no wine and I think I found the perfect remedy to stop drinking. The flu.

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