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They Call it BreakFAST For a Reason

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Here is my speedy morning routine on the non-healthy breakfast front: Take bowl of water. Throw in Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice tea bag. Put in splash of vanilla soy milk. Slip into microwave for 4-minutes and 10-seconds.

While that is auto-"brewing," take out five boxes of cereal. Measure an exact one-cup combination of all the cereals into a plastic bowl-shaped Tupperware. Stuff another half-handful of the peanut butter puff cereal into my mouth.

Remove bowl of hot tea from the microwave and bring over to the sink. Place plastic travel mug directly in the sink. (I have learned the hard way how to pour hot liquid from a bowl into a mug.) Pour tea elixir into the mug and be sure lid is screwed on tightly. (I have learned the hard way the difference between "loosely" and "tightly.")

Balance the plastic bowl and the travel mug in one hand, even if the other hand is free. This adds to the thrill of breakfast-on-the-run and trying to lock the front door of the house.

Walk towards car. Hold bowl of cereal up to my mouth and see if some of it will stick to my tongue as I'm walking. (Hey, I live in the country. No one is around to watch me.) While doing so, put travel mug on top of car. Open door.

Slip travel mug into the holder in the front seat. (I have learned the hard way that it is better in the holder than on the seat.) Walk around to the driver's side of the car. Open the door with one hand, slip in, and place the bowl of cereal on the passenger seat. Close the door. Confirm that the travel mug is in the holder and not on top of the car. (I have learned the hard way that this is a necessary step.)
Put key in the ignition. Give the car some juice (not literally, but writing about breakfast is making me think of OJ).
Drive down my road. When the coast is clear, tear out of my driveway. Watch bowl of cereal fly all over the front seat. Wonder, for the crazillionth time, why I don't just take five minutes to eat the bowl of cereal at the kitchen table before leaving the house.
Now I am beginning to feel really crumby. Console myself by glancing over at the hot tea that is still intact. After taking a sip, I try to find the holder to slip it back into, which is sometimes like finding a light switch in the dark.
Stop at the light. Take a sip of hot tea. Continue driving. At next light, look down and see cereal beginning to drop into the leather seat crevices. Try to convince your brain that you weren't hungry anyway. Reach out for the tea. Take a sip. Notice that it is starting to get cold. Try to convince your brain that you weren't thirsty anyway.
Turn up the radio. Switch the station from NPR to soft rock. Sing along to "I Want to Move Like Jagger." Look straight ahead at the road. Do not for a millisecond look at the Cheerios all over the front seat. Continue the a.m. quest of trying to to embrace the real meaning of breakfast. (Or is it brake fast?)

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