November 15, 2011

Don't Hate Me But ...

My wedding dress from 25 years ago fit me. All 31 handmade satin-covered buttons down the back were fastened ... some not easily, but we (and I say "we" because one of the reasons we have remained married for 25 years is that I learned using "we" is better than "I") did it!

After going in for the kill by trying to fasten the buttons all at once, within minutes my husband said (yelped?), "I need to take a break. My fingers are numb."
"Is that supposed to be funny?" I chortled (a sense of humor is also essential in a marriage.)
"I just need to get the blood running back in my fingers," he said.

Ha. Ha. Very funny.

My husband wore his wedding day bow tie. He grabbed a tuxedo jacket from the corner of his closet (even though he wore a morning suit for our wedding), and donned a crisply starched tuxedo shirt, complete with the ebony and pearl studs, and elegant patent leather dress slippers. Oh, and pants, of course. He decided to shake it up with black jeans (that he actually had worn on our first date).

Why the tizzy? For what reason would I pull the sacrosanct wedding dress from its fancy-shmancy storage box in the attic? And why would dear husband go formal with his finest?

Dearest friends and family hosted an intimate wedding party redux to celebrate our 25th happy wedding anniversary. The front steps of our hosts' house were strewn with white rose petals. As husband and I pounced over them, the door opened and the cameras started flashing. There was something absolutely wonderful and irreverent that everyone was honoring our wedding union with both seriousness and humor. I absolutely treasure them all the more for it.

The hosts had Bee Gees and Barry Manilow love songs oozing from the speakers. On the mantle, were wedding day photos of all of us 25 years ago. A mini-wedding cake was the centerpiece of the dining room table. Every detail of the gathering was a combination of love, long friendships and a wisp of hilarity.

The advice from this Mrs. is: stay in the game. Weather the storms. Make the commitment to try again and again and again (and again) to make your marriage ever better, and you, too, may have the blessing to be with the love of your life 25 years later.

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